


The Train Has Left The Station

by Feckless_KnickKnacks



Category: It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
Genre: Alcohol, Canon Compliant, Drugs, High School, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Implied/Referenced Underage Sex, Slurs, Swearing, Teen Years, canon typical horribleness, multi-chapter
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-01-19
Updated: 2018-01-19
Packaged: 2019-03-06 21:24:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,280
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13419936
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Feckless_KnickKnacks/pseuds/Feckless_KnickKnacks
Summary: Mac McDonald and Charlie Kelly had a pretty good thing going: late night dumpster diving, causing havoc at the Liberty Mall with their pals Dooley and Pete, and even the occasional deep conversation over a bowl of cheap grass.But the Freight Train has hit an obstacle on it's tracks; and obstacle named Dennis Reynolds.Will Charlie be able to maintain a friendship based on mutual loneliness and debauchery? Or will he have to do something about Mac's sudden investment in the self proclaimed "Golden God" Dennis Reynolds?(My take on how the Reynolds Twins were integrated into Mac and Charlie's lives.)





	The Train Has Left The Station

 

 

It was a chilled Autumn afternoon, three days before Halloween, when two young friends sat under the dirty bleachers of Saint Joe’s high school. Forgotten and unseen, it was obvious that they were of more use to themselves outside than they would be sitting in a classroom learning about, well, _anything_.

 

         The shortest one, Charlie Kelly, looked the most at home here amongst the litter. Small, patchy faced and runny nosed, he almost resembled a rat in the way he twitched and anxiously checked his surroundings for signs of attack.

 

         The other student, Mac, was much larger in build; both skin and hair greasy from what he called his lunch-time pump. (In reality he just karate chopped a water bottle a few times after indulging in a meatball sub.)

 

         They were currently discussing what Charlie believed to be a very serious matter: The disruption of their status quo; the addition of a _new_ member to their crew.

 

         “Why do you even wanna’ hang out with Dennis?”  Charlie said as he slid his back down the side of a pole, causing his oversized flannel to bunch up around his neck, “Isn’t he that kid who always called you a queer?”

 

         “No, no Charlie,” Mac fumbled with his rolling papers, “You see, Dennis explained it to me: He wasn’t calling me _a_ queer. He said I was _queer_. Like ‘interesting’ and ‘unique’. It’s like a fancy British word or some shit; they use it in Alice in Wonderland.”

 

         “Oh shit, man!” Charlie grabbed the papers after Mac dropped one too many onto the dewy ground, “I remember that movie. Yeah, my mom used to pop it in for me whenever her friends would visit her in her room! The flowers would start singing and I’d get out the shoe polish and give it a good huff,

         Yeah...” he paused as if reminiscing, “Dude. That grumpy Caterpillar guy with the big ass hookah always made me crave bugs. Alice in Wonderland make me wanna’ munch on some big old crunchy bugs, you know what I mean?”

 

         A pause.

 

         “N-“ Mac blinked away some confusion, “ _Nobody_ thinks that about Alice in Wonderland, Charlie.”

 

         “Heyo, Queers!”

 

         A new voice echoed from across the bleachers, along with the horrifying noise of metal against metal.

 

         Dennis Reynolds and his sister the Aluminum Monster were maneuvering themselves around the crisscrossing poles that kept the bleachers standing; the former doing so with grace, the latter creaking so violently that each step sounded like the scrape of a rusty gate.

 

 

         “Aw shit,” Mac’s face fell, “He brought his sister.”

 

         It was no secret that Mac _hated_ girls, and if you were to ask him why the answer would never be consistent.

 

         Sometimes it was because they smelled weird. Other times it had to do with something 

about being the sinful descendants of Lilith.

         Either way...it made the current circumstances less desirable than it had been a few moments ago.

 

         “She better not want weed.”

 

         After reluctantly waiting for his sister to catch up with him, Dennis offered the two of them a disinterested smile and a relaxed nod.

         “Sup?”

 

         “Well ‘ello, Queer!” Charlie responded to the twins with a little bow and possibly the most obnoxious British(?) accent imaginable, “Fanceh’ meetin’ you ‘ere undah da bleachers! ‘Openyer not lookin’ tah’ get a huffy on-“

 

         “Dude, what are you doing?” Mac cut him off as quietly as he could manage, clearly embarrassed by whatever the fuck his friend had began to do.

 

         “What? You said it was like a British thing so I was doing a British thin-“

 

         “Well /stop/ doing a British thing, you look li-“

 

         “Hey!” Dennis’s voice spoke clear and sharp over the mumbled drudgery of the other boys, and he raised a brow, “So we firing up or what?”

 

         “Yeah,” Charlie was fiddling with the blunt rather callously, “You got money?”

 

         “Uh, he’s joking!”

 

         Quickly Mac snatched the blunt from him and presented it to Dennis along with his lighter, “First one’s on the house!”

 

         Dennis looked impressed, or at least...satisfied. It was hard to tell with those eyes of his; all lid and no brow.

         Mac couldn’t help but wonder how he’d fare in a poker game.

 

         Charlie, on the other hand, wasn’t pleased.

 

         “Dude, we always make people pay. And I’m the one who rolled it, so why is he lighting i-“

 

         Once again he was interrupted by Mac, who wrapped a strong arm around his friend’s neck and dragged him off for a quick aside.

 

         “Look, Charlie. We can’t just make _Dennis Reynolds_ pay for our weed.”

 

         “Why not?”

 

         “If we start hanging out with Dennis, then we’ll be able to get in with the cool kids. We’ll get invited to parties, chicks will wanna’ bang us, nobody’s gonna’ make you eat...” he lowered his voice even more, “Worms and stuff.”

 

         Charlie couldn’t help but looked the _littlest_ bit intrigued in the crook of his pal’s arm, but there was still an air of unease in his face; something childish and doubtful that Mac never felt comfortable around.

 

         “But how do you know _he’s_ not gonna’ make me eat worms?”

 

         Mac bit his lower lip, and finally released his friend.

 

         “Charlie, he’s not going to make you eat worms.”

 

         “You queers done over there?” Dennis was exhaling his first puff, looking irritable that attention was being directed elsewhere.

 

         “Yeah, we’re good!” Mac answered for them both as they rejoined the twins, “How’s the, uh...”

 

         “I’ve had better.” Dennis passed it off to Mac, who took a drag of his own.

         If you asked _him_ it was a pretty great strain; how dank did it have to be to impress a guy like Dennis Reynolds?

 

         Once the boys each took a puff or two, the previously silent Aluminum Monster reached out for her turn.

 

         “Woah, woah!” Mac pulled it from her reach, “You got money?”

 

         “Are you fucking kidding me?” She snapped and looked to her brother for support she would not be receiving.

 

         “Yeah,” Charlie scratched at a pimple near his nose, “I don’t think I’d feel morally good about giving a sick girl stuff like this, anyway.”

 

         “I have scoliosis, not a terminal illness. Besides, this shit makes me feel better. Ever heard of medical marijuana? It’s a muscle relaxer, jerkoffs.”

 

         “Ah yeah!” Charlie puffed again, a longer one that indicated he planned on finishing this roach off before the bell rang, “Really sucks they haven’t legalized that stuff here. Shitty, right? The government should be more considerate about people like that.”

 

 

         Slack-jawed by the disrespect, the Aluminum Monster creaked and turned away.

         “Fuck off. I’m leaving. Christ! C’mon Dennis,” she squinted daggers at her twin, “Mom says you have to drive me to Physical Therapy today.”

 

         Dennis let out an unstable sigh, making it obvious that he wasn’t excited about running errands for his mother.

 

 

         “The best weed in the world couldn’t make your voice any less annoying,” he rubbed under his oddly sunken eyes and turned back to Mac and Charlie, “I’ll be back tomorrow. Same time?”

 

         Mac’s stomach leaped, and he stood up straighter than he had been.

 

         “Yeah! Totally, Den!”

 

         A grimace.

        

         “Don’t call me that. Let’s meet in the auditorium cat walk next time, though. I don’t need people...seeing us.”

 

         And with that Dennis Reynolds and the Aluminum Monster left the same way they came: one with the elegance of a spider and the other like a mechanical praying mantis.

 

         Mac watched as they left, a fire in his belly. Charlie watched as well, but something about Dennis didn’t make him feel so hot.

 

         It was something that made his stomach turn.

 

         Something like worms.

**Author's Note:**

> Hey guys! Hope you enjoy my first solely self written fanfiction on AO3 since the website's debut! In the past I have co-written Lazy Town fanfictions with my roommate and published them here, but seeing as I am the only one in the apartment who likes IASIP I decided to give this a go! I plan on publishing a chapter weekly throughout this next semester, and if you guys have any critique or perhaps even suggestions go ahead and send them my way! (Look forward to some good old angst and background character integration is all I will say for now :-))


End file.
